The Flag

I work at a summer camp each year. I'm in charge of about 15 boys. Two summers ago, after floating around with different names for my group, a kid had suggested that I call my group 'The Hellmenn,' in honor of my last name. I thought the idea was genius, so every group I've had under my care since has been called 'The Hellmenn.' When it's time to line up, I yell, "Hellmenn!!!" as loud as I can. Kids are proud to be hellmenn, or so it seems.

Somehow the idea sprouted this past summer that in order to create group unity, we should make a flag and carry it with us everywhere we go. I felt this was something the kids would enjoy, so I made a declaration that there would be a flag proposal contest, and at the end of the week we would choose a template and create the flag from that.

A few kids really got into it. Some of them submitted several designs. The judging was tough. Some submissions featured stars and stick figure people with 'HELLMENN' inscribed in the background, while others featured pictures of a volcanic lunar landscape that had little to do with the project at hand. One showed a smiling devil, the name 'HELLMENN' almost impaled on his pitchfork. That was my personal favorite.

As time and chance would have it, a simple yet effective design won out in the end: the name written diagonally, with a picture of a hellmann, and two stars on either side to promote some semblance of patriotic pride.

Within a week, I was tired of the stupid thing. It hung from a PVC pipe, which kids sometimes jabbed each other with. It got lost at the cafeteria and at activities. Kids fought over who should be the official flag bearer. Other RAs commented how it was kind of egotistical to have a flag for my group when all the other groups didn't have one. I constantly had to repair little rips and shreds it got from being flung about. After a while, I just let it sit in my room.

When my second group of kids came, and I decided to bypass the flag option. 'What they don't know can't hurt them,' I figured. I took the flag off its pole, and hung it above my door.

I'm not sure when, but at some point in the game, one of the other RAs thought it would be a great idea to stick a picture of my face on top of a picture of David Hasselhoff's body, and then tape it to the flag.

Well, there it hung, over my doorway, till the end of camp. Some might say it was a portly reminder of group pride and togetherness. Others would think it suggests that in order to be a true hellmann, you had to have a body like Mr. Baywatch himself. I think it was just a silly idea that came and went, and whenever I see the picture of that stupid flag, it brings back a lot of memories: How I never really understood the David Hasselhoff joke. The smiles of the kids as they danced around the flag and waved it in the air. Me sitting at my desk, scotch tape in hand, annoyed that they got another tear in the stupid thing. Cleaning out my room and tearing it down, never to be flown again.

I miss being a hellmann.


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