A few years back when Song's sister was living with us, a student pointed at the door to our spare bedroom (we teach in our apartment, btw) and asked who lived there. I said, "Song Teacher's sister."
Without pause the student asked, "Is she a puppy?"
"Uhhh, no. No, she isn't," I replied.
* * *
On a related note, I currently have a group of students convinced that I'm going to give birth to puppies somewhere down the line.
It all started when one of the students patted my tummy before class. I'm not a big fan of kids touching me outside of an occasional hug (liability issues, plus I've been slammed in the balls a few too many times by kids (mostly unintentionally (with the exception of one kindergartener who specifically stepped out of line to come over and slam his fist as hard as he could into my groin)) to the point that I've definitely formed some kind of defense mechanism from it). And yes, I have been studying programming lately.
As is common, after touching my tummy the student commented on how fat I was (by American standards, I've got a tummy, but in Korea I'm just fat), and I told her I was pregnant with puppies and to just let them sleep. She asked how many and I said, "Five."
Now, it is not true that I'm pregnant with puppies, but I once convinced a group of high schoolers at a summer camp for gifted and talented kids that the markings on the tree near the cafeteria were from squirrels running up and down it every day to gather nuts ("They use roads, just like humans do").
While it's true that in kid land a lot of things are up for grabs, there's not a lot of enjoyment for me if my kids actually walk away believing that me and another co-worker are half-brothers, cause then you actually have them coming up to you and asking if you're alright cause your brother got his wrist injured and for two seconds you are totally confused (and later ashamed that they're showing care and compassion for you while you're just carrying on the facade). Or you start worrying that maybe they will find out years later through social media that you were a dirty rotten liar and it will upset them.
So nowadays I just shoot for being as outlandish as possible. One reason is that younger students can get really upset by things that older students would laugh off (never, ever, under any circumstances try to do an American white elephant gift exchange with Korean elementary students...there will be crying and you will feel like a terrible human being).
Thus, the puppies.
It started out as a roundabout way to not have the student touch my tummy, but she has consistently asked about them for quite a while now...almost a year by my calculations. She and the other kids in her class laugh and say "TEAcher!" whenever I tell them how many months along I am and that they really need their sleep so it's best to just leave them alone, but at the same time I can tell that somewhere in the back of their mind, there is some kind of logic to what I'm saying (I currently own 4 dogs, and they know that the dogs must've come from somewhere...). Not enough that they'll get mad at me later on, but just enough to sprinkle the world with the possibility of magic.
(note: feels good to be writing this kinda material again...I'm always happy with my writing when I know that 30 years later I'll get a kick out of reading it again)
(note 2: related post from 10 years ago: https://ryan927.blogspot.com/2012/10/telephone-upso.html)
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