Here's my story from last week, sans pictures:
Tuesday 3:00 pm - I leave work, head to my apartment, and pick up $3000 from the bank, which is a large chunk of the change I receive for completing my contract.
I do one last check of my apartment with all the necessary authorities, say goodbye to my co-worker, and I'm on the bus to the airport. After 2 years, it's finally time to say goodbye to Korea. I'm anticipating two nights in Shanghai with friend Daniel Cheng, and then Dubai, where I'll meet my girlfriend at the airport (she switched her flight from Venice for me, just so she could meet me at the airport).
Tuesday 5:15 pm - I get to the airport, an hour and thirty minutes before my flight takes off.
Tuesday 5:45 pm - After talking with me for a while, the guy at the check-in counter calls over his manager. They talk. They tell me that I can't do my flight. Because of some technicality, I can't go through China because I have a layover in two Chinese cities.
I'm sweating. I don't have a Chinese visa. You see, the first layover was planned. I'd found out about some special loophole where anyone can stay in Shanghai for less than 48 hours, no visa necessary. However, nothing on the Chinese embassy website had said that just because I had a layover in another airport after Shanghai means I would have to get a visa.
Since getting a visa for China an hour before your flight takes off is like asking God if he could somehow switch places with Satan for a day, I ask them if they can just change my flight. "Isn't there a flight going directly from Shanghai to Dubai?" I ask.
"No," they reply.
"What if I just skip Shanghai? Can I just go from Seoul to Shanghai?" Not visiting Daniel would definitely ruin my plans, but at least I wouldn't be stuck in Korea.
"Sorry sir, we can't do anything with your flight. You'll have to talk to the people you reserved it with."
Orbitz. Orbitz.com.
"One more question," I continue. "My bags are 20 kg overweight. How much will that cost me?"
"Well, it's about $20 a kilogram...so, you're looking at about $400 extra."
Although I'm not a bad-word connoisseur by any stretch of the imagination, I walk away, muttering, "된장. 된장 찌개."
Tuesday 5:45 pm - I've got 4 bags, which collectively weigh about 100 pounds. I'm at the airport in Seoul, South Korea, and I've got less than 30 minutes to refund my plane ticket and figure out another option before my plane takes off.
I head down to Arrivals, where I remember seeing some computer terminals that you can rent. The 100 pounds on my back somehow is not such an issue, stacked up against the possible $600 I will lose on my existing plane ticket, not to mention the possible $1200 I'll be paying for a new ticket.
Oh, and did I mention that my Korean visa was set to expire at 11:59 pm that day?
I get to the computers. I log in, get to my email, pull up the Orbitz website. Great. No online help option. No way to cancel my ticket or change it.
I can feel the sweat soaking into my shirt.
A phone number. "From outside the U.S., please call...."
I write it down. There's a payphone right next to me, so I kick all my stuff over there and slide my credit card in the pay slot. The automate voice on the line says, "브라 브라 브라 브라 브라 브라 브라 브라, 브라 브라 브라 브라." Just awesome. I try again. Again, she starts. "씨발 정말 당신과 당신의 미국 신용 카드. 내가 한국 전화입니다." Well, it went something like that anyways.
I try different combinations of buttons, another credit card. No luck.
I check my watch. 20 minutes until my flight takes off.
"Do they charge you if you're not on the flight?" I wonder. "Probably."
In times like those, when you're almost 50 pounds overweight, you're visa for the country you're currently in is expiring that night, and you feel like you are about to get royally shafted by the airplane ticket gods that be due to the ridiculous Chinese visa nazis that be and your own naive faith in their "small detail not necessaly" website, it's hard to just take a step back and think with 20 minutes and a world of financial hurt about to pounce on you.
But, I think.
And, like a green unicorn floating down from a cloud of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (the four packs, not those measly two packs), a thought appears: "Skype."
I start unloading my stuff everywhere as I gather my laptop and my headset and thank God that the Seoul airport provides free wi-fi. Within 5 minutes I'm on the line with a customer representative, and after I tell her my situation, she says, "Ok, let me put you on hold for a couple minutes."
Clouds of people walk by. A random Korean old man (Korean old men seriously need to find something better to do. All they ever do is stop me and try to chat me up like they wanna date me.) stops by and asks where I'm headed to.
The lady comes back on the phone. "Ok Mr. Hellmann, there's a flight out of Seoul tomorrow at 8 in the morning that we could get you on."
"How much will that cost?"
"Well, with the transition fee and the airline fee it comes out to about $150."
I want to reach over the phone and kiss her. I feel like a lizard who just lost his tail.
Tuesday 6:15 pm - Massive amounts of luggage in tow, I head back upstairs to regroup and nail down some details (20 kg overweight, expiring Korean visa, place to sleep for the night). I head back to the check-in counter and ask the lady about my Korean visa. She sends me off to immigration. They send me back to her. She says she can't print out the paper that they need because, since I just bought my ticket, it hasn't been officially confirmed yet. When will it be confirmed? She has no clue.
This is a good place to leave off.
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